Who is responsible
Paddy2021 LLC publishes and maintains this website. Privacy questions, access requests and complaints may be sent to service@ballymagaleen.com.
Small print · legible edition
Terms, Conditions & Plausible Deniability
An agreement between the visitor, the parish and whatever remains of common sense.
Instrument no. 0 · effective 11 September 2026
The honest short version
Ballymagaleen is satire. Enjoy it, do not mistake it for professional advice, do not behave like a gobshite, and do not claim ownership of what you found here.
Part the first · imposed by acclamation
Terms & Conditions
Last revised 11 September 2026
Entry into the parish
By using this website you agree to these terms, insofar as a person may agree to anything while lost on an intermittently attached peninsula. If you do not agree, you may withdraw with your honour intact by closing the page.
The nature of Ballymagaleen
Ballymagaleen, its institutions, securities, saints, titles, officials and most commercial opportunities are works of satire and fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons, solvent enterprises or competent local government is coincidental, disputed or still before the committee.
Permitted enjoyment
You may read, link to and quote brief passages with fair acknowledgement. You may not republish substantial material, sell it as your own, train a rival hereditary nuisance upon it, remove notices of authorship or manufacture official-looking MAGAL Coin instruments.
Conduct unbecoming
Do not interfere with the site, probe it maliciously, introduce harmful code, impersonate Giles, harass correspondents, scrape personal information, or use the parish as cover for fraud, money laundering, tax evasion, relic trafficking or the unauthorised movement of bullocks.
Merchandise and books
Imaginary goods in Gombeeni’s Shop are imaginary and cannot be ordered, delivered, returned or worn to court. Links to real books lead to outside retailers whose prices, availability, delivery, returns and privacy practices are their own affair.
Financial and other non-advice
MAGAL Coin, the Financial Services Centre, the Imperial Gaelic Credit Union, THC investments and every parish quotation are comic inventions. Nothing here is financial, legal, tax, medical, agricultural, matrimonial or spiritual advice; an offer; a solicitation; or a promise of value, yield, enlightenment or dry weather.
Accuracy and continuity
We try to keep factual statements accurate where facts have entered the story. We do not promise that the website will be complete, current, uninterrupted or immune from parish revision. Pages may move, jokes may mature badly, and the isthmus may wash out.
External expeditions
Links and remotely hosted material are provided for convenience or historical preservation. We do not control outside websites and do not endorse every opinion, cookie, price, algorithm or pair of trousers encountered there.
Liability, within reason
Use the website at your own judgement. To the fullest extent permitted by applicable law, Paddy2021 LLC and the Ballymagaleen authors are not liable for losses arising from reliance on satire, unavailable pages, outside services or adventures undertaken after reading Giles. Nothing in these terms excludes liability or consumer rights that cannot lawfully be excluded.
Severability, revision and weather
If a court declares one clause sensible or unenforceable, the remaining absurdity survives. These terms may be revised when the site changes, the law insists or Giles finds a better phrase. Material changes will appear here with a new revision date.
Ignorance of the terms is no excuse, but may qualify as local custom.
Part the second · sincere beneath the hat
Privacy Policy
Last revised 11 September 2026
What you choose to send
The “Scream into the Void” form does not submit information to the website. It prepares an email in your own email application. Nothing reaches us unless you choose to send it. If you do, the message may contain your name, email address, message and the ordinary metadata created by email systems.
What happens on a visit
The Ballymagaleen site code does not deliberately use advertising trackers, behavioural analytics or first-party marketing cookies. Its interactive investor desk performs its calculations locally and does not save or transmit your selections. The hosting service may nevertheless process ordinary request and security data such as an IP address, browser information, requested page, date and time.
Images and external services
Some preserved parish illustrations are delivered by external media hosts. Loading them may disclose ordinary request information to those hosts. Following links to Amazon, Bluesky, X, YouTube or any other outside service takes you to a separate organisation operating under its own terms and privacy policy.
How correspondence is used
We use messages to reply, deal with the matter raised, maintain necessary records and protect the website or its users. We do not sell personal information. Information may be handled by our email, hosting or technical service providers, or disclosed where reasonably necessary to comply with law, prevent harm or defend legal rights.
Retention and security
Correspondence is kept only as long as reasonably needed for the purpose for which it was sent, legitimate record-keeping or legal requirements. Reasonable safeguards are used, but no email or internet service can promise absolute secrecy. For delicate matters, send only what is necessary.
Your choices and rights
You may ask whether we hold personal information about you and request access, correction or deletion where applicable. We may need to verify your identity and may retain information where law or legitimate obligations require it. You may also complain to the privacy regulator available in your jurisdiction.
Children and unsolicited revelations
This site is intended for a general audience and does not knowingly seek personal information from children. Please do not send confidential information about another person, unredacted legal papers, passwords, payment-card details or confessions properly belonging to a priest.
Changes and contact
If the site begins using new analytics, storage, forms or other data practices, this policy will be updated before Giles can call them ancient custom. Questions may be addressed to service@ballymagaleen.com.
Declared at Cashelmagaleen HouseAll rights reserved, misused or otherwise withheld.